I met god this weekend and he told me not to review Chandni Chowk to China. He told me it’s in the readers best interest.
Ladies and Gentlemen I apologize. Its not me, its gods decision. Sorry.
By the way, my friend is planning to make a movie, he doesn’t have a budget though, I wonder if Deepika Padukone and Akshay Kumar would act in it…. On second thought even if they did, it’s not a good idea.
Nikhil Advani – the director of CC2C hasn’t come out of the theatre after the premiere. He is shocked. His seat is the only seat remaining in the theatre. The rest were torn and broken by the audience, who were mainly his family and friends.
Should we sympathize with the distributors? NO. They deserve it. What were they thinking when they saw the trial before buying it. They have now started distributing pamphlets of lesser known jewellery brands on signals and intersections. That’s their new job.
I wont say anymore. God will be angry. Really angry. He is planning to sue Nikhil Advani and Akshay Kumar because even he paid 400 bucks to watch it in THEATRE – E – HEAVEN. And like all new theatres this one is also expensive. And he couldn’t get popcorn also because the popcorn guy has still not died and reached heaven yet. He still has to watch CC2C tonight and reach heaven post that instantly.
Baz Luhrmann, the man who made Strictly Ballroom, Romeo & Juliet and Moulin Rouge has come up with this bonanza (a long one) called AUSTRALIA.
Don’t get me wrong, a long movie does not mean it’s a bad one. Australia does have the ability to take you on a free ride to a country infested with people clearly confused and insecure about their existence. Australia in the late ‘30s and ‘40s is portrayed in a very strange, dark and isolated way.
It’s a very simple story, narrated by a little half-white half-Aboriginal boy called Nulla. An Englishwoman, Lady Ashley (Nicole Kidman) goes Down Under to live with her husband, who runs Faraway Downs, a cattle ranch on ancestral property in the outback. Driven from the port to her destination across rough terrain by a hunky Australian cattle man Drover (Hugh Jackman), she arrives at the rundown ranch manor only to find that Lord Ashley, her husband, has been murdered. The blame is placed on an Aboriginal witch doctor nicknamed King George (David Guplili), who roams the mountains around the ranch, performing strange dances and rituals around bonfires each night.
Lady Ashley soon falls out with ruthless cattle station manager Neil Fletcher (played by David Wenham), who does his best to have her sell Faraway Downs to a competitor andmistreats the Aboriginal servants of the household, particularly young Nulla — he is Fletcher’s illegitimate son and King George’s grandson. Left to her own devices, the aristocratic but enterprising Englishwoman engages Drover to help her run the ranch and predictably, a passionate relationship is born of this arrangement. When Nulla’s Aboriginal mother dies in a tragic accident, he completes the picture of domestic bliss, but the story is only half over.
Fletcher, married to a wealthy white heiress, is determined to ruin Lady Ashley’s life, seize the profitable Faraway Downs and have Nulla taken away by the authorities, since the fact that he is the boy’s biological father could destroy his reputation in society. In fact, Australian law back in the ‘30s and ‘40s dictated that half-white half-Aboriginal children be taken away from their indigenous families and put in the hands of the Church, so as to prevent their further ‘diluting’ genteel society through further procreation.
When Lady Ashley and Drover fall out over a domestic dispute and World War II breaks out, Nulla is taken away from the ranch and sets in motion another story, one that brings to light the suffering of the ‘Stolen Generation’ against the backdrop of a battle. For those interested in a little trivia, the practice of separating half-caste aboriginal children from their families was only abolished three decades later in the 1970s. In 2006, then Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd offered a formal apology for the horrific practice.
Australia is not the kind of movie to encourage tourism, because the country has changed drastically since the early ‘40s. The first half of the movie is better than the second half, which tends to get tedious toward the end. The problem lies in its length. It could’ve been edited better — 15 minutes shorter than it is at present would have made a lot of difference. The music, however, is brilliant. David Hirschfelder, the musical director, has done a great job. The evergreen Somewhere over the Rainbow from the classic movie The Wizard of Oz is the theme song.
Overall Australia has its moments. Luckily, they overpower the bits of boredom. Some long movies have repeat value, but unfortunately this one misses out on that privilege.
Aamir Khan in a recent interview said “I would do a film that is good rather than do a film that is not good that just makes money”. Aamir Bhai did you read the script before signing this? Or was is a huge misjudgement.
The film has a very promising start. The first 10 minutes of the film gives an impression of it being a slick thriller. Actually the film should have ended there. If we remove Aamir Khan from the film and replace him with a lesser know actor, the theatre will have 4 seats full. The lesser known actor, his wife and 2 kids.
The film is a copy of a Tamil film made by the same director (A.R Murugadoss), which in turn is a copy of Memento. I don’t know how they decided to make a copy of a foreign film that was highly critically acclaimed but not a box office blockbuster. Indian sensibilities is one thing, no sensibilities is another. It revolves around the protagonist suffering from Short Term Memory Loss, which for some reason lasts for 15 minutes. Looking at Aamir Khans body, I think he forgot that he had exercised just 15 minutes back and kept repeating it. Mistake not – the results are awesome.
Let me now come to the heroines. Asin looks promising. She has shades of a good actress, but Jiah Khan needs some acting classes. Both heroines never at any point share screen space together. That’s actually good for Jiah Khan. Her accented hindi is super funny. Asin has done a good job. She has a few good scenes in the movie in which she manages to connect with the audience. She is the saving grace at times.
There is no doubt about the acting abilities of Aamir Khan. He is simply brilliant. He is one of the finest actors in the industry, and he has lived up to that expectation. The film hasn’t, but that’s another story altogether. After Taare Zameen Par watching Aamir doing this was a little weird but his acting prowess shines throughout. The villain looks like one of the sidekicks of a bad RGV film. The name of the film is the name of the villain. I wonder why the casting agent (if there was any) cast such an ordinary actor for such an important role.
Overall the movie is not at all good. No twists, no good script, very badly edited and songs unnecessarily injected in between. The movie needs to be shorter and the clothes that the actors were made to wear in the songs made my day. They looked like upset jokers who haven’t been paid for their previous circus act.
What would you call a couple who got married after meeting in a sanitary shop?
TUB NE BANA DI JODI.
Bad joke, right? Wait. The movie is worse.
Before writing any further I would just like to ask one thing of Shahrukh Khan (who is obviously not going to humour me). Did you actually read the script before signing on for this piece of shit?
Let me not giveRab Ne Bana Di Jodi too much importance by writing much about its storyline (actually, there is no story). The movie starts off with SRK attending the wedding of his professor’s daughter (Anushka Sharma). Amid celebrations, they get the news that her to-be husband has died in an accident en route to the venue. Hearing this, the bride’s father suffers a heart attack and on his death bed (a brainless Hindi movie special) tells SRK to marry his daughter, so that she is taken care of. The movie goes downhill from there.
A few days into her forced marriage, the wife decides to join a dance class. SRK then decides to get a makeover and join the dance class with the help of his friend (Vinay Pathak, who plays a barber). By getting his hair gelled and shaving off his moustache, he metamorphoses into an Amritsari cool dude. He wins the heart of his own wife (as an outsider), who doesn’t realise that it’s her own husband who is her dance class partner. No, she is not blind. The scriptwriter probably is.
I can’t write any more about the script. It was difficult as it is to sit through this kind of torture. Two and a half hours felt like a week. It’s difficult to fathom that this very same director (Aditya Chopra) made Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge. Come to think of it, though, nothing surprises me anymore after watching RGV ki Aag, but that’s another story altogether. RGV started the trend of making unbelievably horrible movies and Mr Chopra has kept the torch burning.
And please, A.C., we all know you have a lot of contacts in the film industry. Don’t unnecessarily use them all by casting a bunch of big-name heroines in one song (Kajol, Bipasha, Preity, Rani). This actually goes out to all the directors with weak scripts. Karan Johar, this goes out to you too. Four heroines shaking their hips for two minutes do not make a bad script any better. Please stop. This whole filmy camp thing is getting to all of us. You’ll aren’t in college anymore, so no more come-on-over-and-join-the-party bit parts are expected and nor are they appreciated. Kajol’s cameos in all SRK’s movies are not a surprise anymore. In fact, we’d be more suitably surprised now if she didn’t show up.
As for the leading lady, Anushka Sharma, ma’am, if you consider only the actors and directors with a twinkle in your eyes, and not the script, your career will end before it begins. Take your cue from talented actresses like Konkona Sen Sharma.
The dialogues are appalling. And RNBDJ will actually make you hate all of Aditya Chopra’s previous movies. In fact, after seeing it, I think DDLJ’s super run of 10 odd years in a theatre might end. Please, Mr Director — stop making references to your previously successful productions in your current horrible ones. No more trying to cash in on oldies — that ship has sailed, so stop dredging up an illusion of it every chance you get.
And also, the whatever-you-touch-turns-to-gold perception has got to go. Big budgets don’t make a good movie, good scripts do. The only good part about the movie — and I say this at the risk of being labeled a sycophant, but it’s true — is SRK’s performance. He has, as always, given his 100 percent and proves once again that he can act superbly (even if the script is such a lemon). But SRKji, if you would care to keep the audience close to your heart rather than the director while signing on new projects, you would be doing us all a humongous favour.
The best part of Kandahar is that it has been shot so realistically, one doesn’t quite keep in mind that it’s a movie and not a documentary. Not for one moment while watching did I feel any hatred towards anybody, although it succeeds in bringing forth the harsh reality that the people have to face.
The movie is about a Canadian woman of Afghani descent, who wants to return to her country of origin. Her sister, who was left behind when she fled Afghanistan, has threatened to commit suicide when the next eclipse rolls around. In the course of her long, lone journey to Kandahar, the story of people she meets along the way and the difficulties they face, is unravelled. The move explores the appalling condition in which the Afghans live and you feel helplessly frustrated at their plight.
The cinematography is brilliant, but the music could do with some improvement. Also, the Iranian director, Mohsen Makhmalbaf, fails to engage one’s attention as much as he could have — with such a powerful subject he could have definitely done much better. The dialogue delivery is a bit weird. The actors seem very uncomfortable in the language. This has hampered the flow of the script.
Having said this, the screenplay of Kandahar has saved the day for Makhmalbaf. The movie has managed to win awards at film festivals (the ones which matter, I mean) around the world. Definitely worth a watch. But it’s not a popcorn flick, so stay away if you don’t appreciate real art.
Written and directed by Dibaker Bannerjee, this movie is truly a treat. As Delhi-centric as Khosla Ka Ghosla, OLLO is even more appealing because it manages to woo the Mumbaiwallah. Paresh Rawal and Abhay Deol have performed brilliantly; Rawal has a triple role and is as funny as ever. And it’s inspired by a real-life local robber who is now cooling his heels off in jail. Technically, the movie has a few flaws but then who cares, as long as it entertains?
It’s unfortunate that OLLO has released at such a bad time. I think many people will miss out on it, but if you get the chance, it’s definitely worth a watch.
After seeing it all I can say is, “Oye picture nahi dekhega toh bavda kehlayega!”
Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that’s creativity
– Charles Mingus
Burn After Reading is Joel and Ethan Coen’s first movie after their Academy award-winning No Country For Old Men. A black comedy set in an urban neighbourhood, the directors have woven a simple story with a bit of a twist and of course, morbidity — a Coen trademark.
The cast is absolutely star-studded, with John Malkovich, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Frances McDormand and Tilda Swinton. Osbourne Cox (Malkovich) plays a drunkard CIA analyst who decides to quit after being demoted (almost fired) by his boss. His idea of penning his memoirs doesn’t go down too well with his wife Katie (Swinton), who thinks of her husband as a nincompoop. She plans to divorce Osbourne and at the behest of her lawyer, copies several documents from his personal computer onto a CD.
Things go haywire when the lawyer’s receptionist accidently leaves the CD at her gym. Physical fitness trainer Chad Feldheimer (Pitt) gets a hold of it and along with his co-worker Linda Litzke (McDormand), decides to blackmail Osbourne. The funny part of it all is that when Osbourne refuses to co-operate, the naïve duo decide to hand over the CD to the Russian Embassy.
In the meanwhile, Katie is having an affair with Harry Pfarrer (Clooney), a married womanizer who works as a treasury agent. Harry meets Linda on an Internet dating website and starts dating her too.
The CIA, in the meanwhile, is keeping tabs on the Cox household to make sure Osbourne does not prove a serious embarrassment to them — and the complicated plot takes a radical twist with the death of Chad in Cox’s apartment.
I won’t reveal any more because this is one of the movies where any kind of explanation fails to do justice — but I assure you its worth a watch. All the actors have done brilliantly well, especially Brad Pitt and Frances McDormand. Burn After Reading is pure entertainment with an added dash of zest. The background score, according to me, is apt and sometimes delightfully deceitful. It’s not another No Country For Old Men, but it’s certainly a classy, light version of the Coen magic. Keep smiling and prepare to be surprised.
Big budgets don’t make a good movie — good scripts do.
This review is going to be short. Dasvidaniyais brilliantly directed and the actors have done their job to the fullest.
If I had to hear the script without seeing the movie, my thoughts might have been a little different. But the good part about Dasvidaniya is that a very simple (mostly inspired) story has been executed exceptionally well.
It is simple yet touching. The protagonist (Vinay Pathak) gets to know that he is dying of stomach cancer and decides to make a list of the things he wants to do in the short time he has left. Eventually, he fulfills each and every one of his desires.
The movie has nothing that one hasn’t seen before, but it still manages to hold the viewers’ interests. The chemistry between the actors is noteworthy. Ranvir Shourie and Rajat Kapoor both have miniscule roles, but they leave a mark.
They, along with Sarita Joshi, have done justice to their respective characters. Neha Dhupia (who up until now I thought was quite a dud, where acting is concerned) has delivered a surprisingly noteworthy performance.
Overall, Dasvidaniya is worth a watch – it’s the complete entertainment package.
Tingya is dedicated to the 1,31,040 farmers who committed suicide between 1993 to 2006 – that is 9,360 a year, 780 a month and 26 a day. In this era of globalization who can be luckier than ‘we, the living’.
The movie starts off along these powerful lines. It is one of the few works that has revived a massive interest in Marathi Cinema and has made it to this year’s Oscars as an independent entry. It was also competing for the spot of official Indian entry in the Foreign Film category, but that honour eventually went to Taare Zameen Par.
The plot is carefully woven around the plight of farmers in Maharashtra, focusing on one family among many that face the brutal and harsh reality of survival. First-time director Mangesh Hadawale tells the touching story of the relationship between Tingya (the protagonist, a young boy) and his pet bull. The animal takes seriously ill, causing the family a lot of hardship as they can neither afford treatment for it nor buy a new one.
Tingya’s father decides to sell the bull to a butcher at the village fair, so that another one can be bought to replace it. This angers the young boy, who is deeply attached to it. Till the very end Tingya hopes for a miracle, so that the bull can remain his pet and not be sold to the butcher. But unfortunately, reality strikes hard and Tingya has to contend with the hardships of life.
The movie has been brilliantly shot in the deep farmlands of Maharashtra and is rumoured to have been made at the cost of a mere Rs 27 lakh. The director has taken a very bold step in choosing this script. The cinematography, contrary to some critics’ opinions, is extraordinary. Among the actors, Sunil Deo and Sharad Goekar stand out; they are absolutely fabulous. Technically, Tingya could have done a little better, but with a budget like that, hats off to you Mr. Mangesh. I have also heard that many producers refused to finance the movie after reading the script. My sympathy goes out to them, may their souls rest in peace.
The movie has won several national and international accolades and in my opinion deserved to represent Indian cinema at the Oscars. Most filmmakers who are inspired by real-life issues tend to lean more towards documentaries. But Tingya is not one of those — don’t miss it. And don’t forget it was competing with Taare Zameen Par, which had a budget of a whopping Rs 50 crore.
Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
A thing long expected takes the form of the unexpected when at last it comes.
The moment you think, “Isn’t it time for the interval?” it means something is wrong for sure. Friends who saw the movie before me said the film was tolerable till the interval, but for me, it should have ended after the first 35 minutes. We all loved the “Kaantaben” scenes in Mr Johar’s earlier film, but I never expected an intelligent filmmaker to make a 3 hour special on Kantaben.
The film revolves around two losers who have to lie about their sexual preference to stay in an apartment. I wonder why? The script takes a nosedive the moment they move in with Priyanka Chopra. She plays a 27 year old independent lass who works for a fashion magazine and is piped to become the next editor-in-chief. The two wannabe gays, John Abraham and Abhishek Bachchan, fall in love with her and try to woo her by taking her out on romantic dates. In the meantime Priyanya’s boss “Boman Irani” who also plays a gay ( real gay ) role, tries to hit on the two losers ( John and AB ) when he is invited to her apartment for dinner. Kiron Kher ( the only tolerable actor in the movie ) plays Abhishek’s mom, who thinks her son has flown off the handle bar (all of them actually have, including the director and the producer ). Bobby Deol replaces Boman Irani as the editor-in-chief and Priyanka is disappointed. In the meantime John and AB apply for US residency. The officer who is attending them when they are in line is also gay. Why O Why?
I won’t bore you’ll further with the story because it’s not worth it. It’s quite apparent that the filmmakers have lived their dream by making such a film, if you know what — or who(!) – I’m talking about. John Abraham’s body is highlighted so much throughout the film that one is bound to feel the producer was in love with him. Shilpa Shetty dances in one song in Miami (which could have been shot at Marve Beach). I would like to ask Shilpa “ Shilpa why O why O why do you wear a sarong over your bikini?”. For the viewer its like having water and telling yourself its whisky. Karan Johar is written in each and every frame of the film and its difficult to believe all the new directors that Mr. Johar works with have the same style.
Some advice for Mr Karan Johar. PLEASE DON’T GIVE ANYMORE REFERENCES TO YOUR EARLIER MOVIES IN EVERY NEW ONE YOU MAKE. WE KNOW YOU HAVE MADE KUCH KUCH HOTA HAI AND ITS VERY CLOSE TO YOUR HEART. AND THE ACTOR OF THE FILM IS ALSO VERY CLOSE TO YOUR HEART. BUT ANY MORE REFERENCES AND REMINDERS WILL JUST GET MORE IRRITATING.
The theatre was half empty on a Saturday evening show ( 2nd day), but this is one of those films where the producers will say that we have made the money in Indian markets abroad. There are very few filmmakers who write a script with the freedom of knowing that budget is not a problem; what is sad is that these very scriptwriters write films like these. It would be a pleasure if the production house thinks about the viewers and not only their bum-viewing dreams, when they decide to make their next film (and no, we do not want to see another actor’s backside).
What is even more irritating is that if this film flops the producers will say that the audience is not ready for such a script, when actually the audience is ready for everything, provided the film is good. This is not a risky subject, it’s just a bad script.
Don’t waste your money. Wait for a month or two and you will watch this film on one of the channels on television.
I met god this weekend and he told me not to review Chandni Chowk to China. He told me it’s in the readers best interest. 
Posted by rishio 
Australia
