Dostana Review

The Filmmakers dream, the viewers nightmare

Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
A thing long expected takes the form of the unexpected when at last it comes.

The moment you think, “Isn’t it time for the interval?” it means something is wrong for sure. Friends who saw the movie before me said the film was tolerable till the interval, but for me, it should have ended after the first 35 minutes. We all loved the “Kaantaben” scenes in Mr Johar’s earlier film, but I never expected an intelligent filmmaker to make a 3 hour special on Kantaben.

The film revolves around two losers who have to lie about their sexual preference to stay in an apartment. I wonder why? The script takes a nosedive the moment they move in with Priyanka Chopra.  She plays a 27 year old independent lass who works for a fashion magazine and is piped to become the next editor-in-chief. The two wannabe gays, John Abraham and Abhishek Bachchan, fall in love with her and try to woo her by taking her out on romantic dates. In the meantime Priyanya’s boss “Boman Irani” who also plays a gay ( real gay ) role, tries to hit on the two losers ( John and AB ) when he is invited to her apartment for dinner. Kiron Kher ( the only tolerable actor in the movie ) plays Abhishek’s mom, who thinks her son has flown off the handle bar (all of them actually have, including the director and the producer ). Bobby Deol replaces Boman Irani as the editor-in-chief and Priyanka is disappointed. In the meantime John and AB apply for US residency. The officer who is attending them when they are in line is also gay. Why O Why?

I won’t bore you’ll further with the story because it’s not worth it. It’s quite apparent that the filmmakers have lived their dream by making such a film, if you know what — or who(!) – I’m talking about. John Abraham’s body is highlighted so much throughout the film that one is bound to feel the  producer was in love with him. Shilpa Shetty dances in one song in Miami (which could have been shot at Marve Beach). I would like to ask Shilpa “ Shilpa why O why O why do you wear a sarong over your bikini?”. For the viewer its like having water and telling yourself its whisky. Karan Johar is written in each and every frame of the film and its difficult to believe all the new directors that Mr. Johar works with have the same style.

Some advice for Mr Karan Johar. PLEASE DON’T GIVE ANYMORE REFERENCES TO YOUR EARLIER MOVIES IN EVERY NEW ONE YOU MAKE. WE KNOW YOU HAVE MADE KUCH KUCH HOTA HAI AND ITS VERY CLOSE TO YOUR HEART. AND THE ACTOR OF THE FILM IS ALSO VERY CLOSE TO YOUR HEART. BUT ANY MORE REFERENCES AND REMINDERS WILL JUST GET MORE IRRITATING.

The theatre was half empty on a Saturday evening show ( 2nd day), but this is one of those films where the producers will say that we have made the money in Indian markets abroad. There are very few filmmakers who write a script with the freedom of knowing that budget is not a problem; what is sad is that these very scriptwriters write films like these. It would be a pleasure if the production house thinks about the viewers and not only their bum-viewing dreams, when they decide to make their next film (and no, we do not want to see another actor’s backside).

What is even more irritating is that if this film flops the producers will say that the audience is not ready for such a script, when actually the audience is ready for everything, provided the film is good. This is not a risky subject, it’s just a bad script.

Don’t waste your money. Wait for a month or two and you will watch this film on one of the channels on television.

RISHIO REVIEW METER – 1.5/5